Finished out the year...a half hour early.

I used to enjoy holidays.

I used to fantasize about the great new years party I would plan for all my friends and neighbors. Music playing with Times Square on the TV, waiting for the ball to drop. Confetti and drinks, decorations and snacks, a kiss to welcome the new year.

Reality of it all hit me this year. As my kids fell asleep on the couch, sprawled between my husband and myself, breathing quite audibly from the congestion that swept our family into a thick sickness. (yuck) My friend who has stayed with us for a few days, sitting in the chair with two dogs. We watch the ball drop in East coast time and wait for our own time zone...if only. The last thing I remember is talking in hushed tones to each other about what the new year would bring...and then waking up again at 12:26. Looking around the room, everyone was asleep. Not one of us made it to midnight. The exhaustion took us by storm, and we were merciless to its power. A bunch of young twenty-somethings who should have been at a bar, dancing a welcoming 2011 dance, but no. We are snoozing in our sweats. Just glad to have some time to sleep.

Wow. What a difference my life is.
Some friends of mine have recently been discussing that having me as a friend (with my two kiddos) is a great form of birth control because they see the reality of it. Motherhood is not easy. Motherhood is not glamorous. Mommies have to work hard to be milf....if they even reach that status ever. Motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice. You are no longer allowed to be selfish. Time, food, money, everything...it all belongs to your children. You scrounge for an hour to watch Grey's Anatomy or Army Wives - most the time online or on demand since primetime tv is a distant memory. If my television is on, brightly colored animals sing and dance to outrageous themes about manners and putting on your shoes. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate my electronic helper, but I used to have Maury on in the background talkin bout "you are not the father!"

Even right at this moment...I am trying to eat a salad (little prep time...quick to eat) and my son is crawling around and my daughter fell asleep in her lunch.