New year, new me.

For a long time I have had a skewed vision of myself and the life that I live in.
Dreaming and idealizing what I would do, where I would go, and who I would be without living the life that I have been given to the fullest. In so many ways there are numerous opportunities that I have let slip without realizing they were there at all, and on the other side of things I have gained so much in the process...I don't want to let any more time go by without embracing it fully.

I feel like so much clarity has come to me through the course of this past year and now with a clean slate of 2011, I want to use this new motivation and self realization to my advantage. I want to embrace life and enjoy it. I will make needed changes, not without complaint I'm sure but when you're faced with hard decisions they mind is more important than the act itself I believe. For example, I want to make time...time for myself, my family, my passions, my future. Making time literally is not a reality but what I choose to do with each hour I have is essential. Instead of relaxing by watching TV or texting, I can write or scrapbook. I can hang out with friends when I hit the gym with her/them. I can dedicate time to my kids individually so that they feel fulfilled, creating less stress time due to bad behaviors. I can plan finances better so that my dear husband doesn't get overwhelmed, and I can tell him everyday that he is appreciated and loved...through actions, words, or unspoken moments shared in a hug.

I want to improve myself and show my inner strength. I want joy to radiate out of me, like it used to so that it is contagious. I want to be satisfied with life, even when it doesn't seem to be going my way. Mind over matter.

My resolutions: ...so far....
*work out with Britta to get healthier (and lose the baby weight!)
*take time for family.
*tell Dan my feelings and what he means to me more.
*indulge in my creative side more by scrapbooking, creating household goods, etc.
*try to learn a new skill
*stay connected to friends with more than just facebook





It shouldn't be a resolution. So I won't list it. This is a lifestyle change and getting back to what was...
I WILL retouch the spiritual side of my life. I have let it go for a long time and haven't been too enthused about getting back to my spirit because I was afraid of what it would look like to myself. But screw that. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, and there is no reason that I should be scared of what I look like on the inside because I am a good person. I have been dealt an offhanded card throughout my years and I could be in a bad place but I chose a different life for myself. I chose life. I chose to be better than was expected of me. I choose everyday to love and live. I choose to make improvements where they need to be and I choose to follow my heart. I choose to let go of things and people that stand in my way and I choose to keep those who stand by me and support me.

I choose a new me. I choose a new year. I choose.