Oh goodness

Henrik is walking.
Adilynn has gained attitude.
I feel like I have been hit with the reality whip...

Why is it that you don't realize how fast time actually goes by until it's too late to take it back? My kids are children now, right in front of my own eyes, every day changing and growing. I just don't understand how that happened. I know, I know. "Time Flies" but seriously; when did my daughter become the child that uses expressions that I use, picks out movies to watch, adores Barbie and can name her role in every show? She chooses her outfits and tells me the truth (however much I don't want to know it: "mommy, your hair is crazy" (<---to the hair style I'd worked on for an hour))
My son is walking and starting to talk, how? I haven't come to grips with the fact that his first birthday is in a couple weeks, but come on. Why does he have to quicker to these milestones than Adi was?? I'm not prepared to let him go and have him explore the house and learn new skills...selfish as that may be, I want him to be my cuddler, my breastfeeding to sleep, content in my arms, depends on me for everything BABY for a little (okay, a lot) longer.

If this puts it in perspective, I interviewed and toured a preschool the other day. One that I have to pay for. That's right...PAY FOR. Education has a cost, and I can no longer say that I am okay with low-income, free schools (though I was at one myself) but there is something there, something different at a private school, that can't be compared. I wouldn't feel right knowing that my daughter would do best at this Montessori school, but just didn't want to pay for it, and so I send her where it is convenient for me...I would feel like I wasn't putting her first. And if I do anything in my life, it WILL BE to sacrifice my own desires for the betterment of my children. I can give up my coffees and scones. Period.

Please God, make time slow down.

I'm old and I like it...

I feel like an adult. Now I know you're going to say, "you are an adult." But you can technically be an adult and still feel young, and then you can also feel like an adult and be young technically...but there is a happy medium that I am at now, where I am not young enough to be too young and old enough to feel young, all while being an adult and feeling good about it.i have two kids, a husband, a home, and I enjoy being that woman that makes sure things get done, choking food, going to the park, and doing art projects.i am happy.

I think God had all this planned out for me and I was just too stubborn to see it and except it ask. All the blessings.
I used to think my life was destined to be different, extraordinary, and when I got pregnant I thought that my big plans were going to change...but this is what makes me extraordinary. I was given a man that is undoubtedly head over heals in love with me, great with or children, never judges me, and is a true and kind man. I used to love him and knew that we were a party of each others lives, but now each day I fall more and more in love with him, anticipating each new day. I didn't really appreciate him. I do now. He was God's plan for me...even when I didn't see it.

I love my life and I am thankful for my blessings.

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Good golly, mr henrik.

I believe my ears are bleeding. Henrik not only has the highest pitched screams, but he knows how to throw a tantrum already. All of a sudden I hear these mind blowing, piercing, makes you're hair stand on end, shiver down your spine bellows and I run like any mother would to see what is going on, thinking the worst, and when I see him by adi I imagine what harm she inflicted, and no sooner than I arrive he sits back, smiles, and takes the toy he wants from adilynn. I swear she has been the victim more lately than he has!

I mean seriously, I feel for the kid because he's got seven (no, not a typo) pearly whites coming through his little gums but really...can we say abuse of power?

In better news, my friend had her baby, safe and healthy, and I'm currently decorating her tiny cake. It's a mommy cake, because when you have a baby in your tummy, you are the center of attention because you hold the baby a mystery, but once birth happens that changes. Now people barely look at you when your speaking, they just stare at your adorable little creation (which was fine by me and my puffy face!) But I thought I'd bring her a gift too...plus just because pregnancy is technically over, does not mean that those cravings stop and that you instantly go back to your pre-pregnancy life style and eating habits. I mean come on, you've had nine months of sweets and no limits, plus within the last few days you've been so uncomfortable and then through excruciating pain, plus the are effects of pushing a little human through an area that is sacred and small...a cake is the absolute least that someone can do!

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