Simple days

Minnesota winters are surprising and throw us for a curve every year. You'd think we'd know, understand, and expect the roads to become slick, the air to be bitter, and the commute to include time for ditches or accidents. But we don't. With the first snow comes ridiculous driving, grumbling, and finally the winter coats...and only because we would be covered in fresh snow as we scrape the ice off of the car windows if we didn't.

I like when the days look too cold, but are quite pleasant instead. The mounds of fresh snow not stained by dirt or salt, the sky is vibrant and the sun is out. It's like looking into a pile of diamonds. Dancing in the sunlight, coating every aspect of my home. I love winters.

I do not like the biting cold...I dub them "vampire days" because all you can do is stay inside and pray that for no reason should you have to go out. Days where if you inhale the air outside it will escape your lungs through violent bronchial spasms, days where your eyes tear up immediately causing your eyelashes to freeze instantly together. Days that call for school closings (here that temp is -40*F), the car won't turnover if you begged it to, and the only appealing food is hot soup in front of the fireplace.

Today is one of the good days...going outside to take my dogs out, slippers and a sweatshirt, watching them act like goofs. I truly believe that they think the snow has covered a giant leg of mutton or something due to the way the force their snouts into the ground and disappear under the white blanket. I laugh out loud every time...if they were humans and adults I would mock them endlessly for the look I get when it's said and done, the "oh crap! my nose is really cold...didn't find that treat though." Maybe I should just throw some bones out there for them, just so that they feel accomplished one of these times.

Laughter is good for the soul.
I needed that today. I needed to remember that little things make up the big picture, so by not noticing the little moments my days drag into a stream of worries or in depth thinking...and let's be honest - who wants to concentrate all the time on the daily hardships? I would rather approach them like homework, taken in small doses, getting done with them on my time. Noticing these moments each day are making me remember to have a camera handy as well!

Appreciate the moments, appreciate the big picture, and enjoy your surroundings.

Still holds true!

I was reading old posts that I have made...this one is relevant and needs to be said again. :)
Something to lighten your new years resolution of going to the gym

Some things that recently have been on my mind while at the gym include:

1. Attention Skinny Divas - DO NOT judge me. I see you staring at me while I work out, with the sideways glances. Gym's are made for getting in shape and that's what I'm doing. I'm not here to get my GTL on. I'm not here to find a man. And I can't wait to see you put the effort in when you've had two kids in two years.

2. If you are in close quarters, like say the locker room, and my locker is next to yours, please just wait for me to grab my bag and move. Don't rub up against me stark naked, and then proceed to shove your assets in my face while you dig for your clothes. k? (and ps. if you are going to go nude here, at least shave or wax...it really is distracting)

3. Please be kind and workout next to people. Don't space yourselves out so much that when two people want to work out next to each other, it is impossible. Same goes for the sauna or the hot tub...I understand wanting your space, but when new people come in, just make some room. Thanks.

Despite the snide glances and bare bottoms, I will continue to go. I will reach my goals of health.

Day One

Today is day one in my new life's journey.
I have always been a mother, a daughter, a friend, and a wife. Today one of those roles has altered.

He moved his stuff, loaded it into his tiny one bedroom apartment, and said goodbye to the life we built. It was a mutual decision, I am not upset, just kind of shell shocked that it has actually happened. I shouldn't feel relief and motivation, but I do. There have been so many moments leading up to this day. Some of my previous posted elude to the knowledge that addiction and depression have created a canyon within our home, something that takes time navigate and construct a bridge over. I wanted to build that bridge, climb the steep slopes and wade the waters surely flowing through it all, this was not on his mind. I believe he saw that things were broken, and the way he could fix it was to hire a helicopter to fly him over. Not dealing with the fact that there is gorge right in the middle of everything, the a process has to happen in order to safely walk across. I feel like I started the hike, ready for anything but shortly in he turned around and left me stranded. Copping out by saying that it would take to long.

I get that healing for him will be a life change, I just thought that our children and our marriage were worth it. I know on some level, he does think that, but on another he just wants to forget. He wants to say it's no big deal and pick up his life from five years ago, before he met me.

New life. New memories.

This change has really occurred at a cliche' time in my life, as this transformation really started on the 16th of December spanning over the literal new year.

I feel lighter, free. Free of burdens that I didn't choose. Free of toxins roaming my body and soul.
Just free.